heteronormativity for dummies or, “why homophobes aren’t the only problem”
You will not believe the shit I get for correcting people when they talk about my daughter like this. Just stop fucking assigning sexualities to babies jfc straight people
You have men who just have a preference for fat women and that’s okay. And then you have men AND fat women who enjoy healthy sexual relationships that involve fat fetishes.
I won’t even say a man having a fat fetish is necessarily inherently wrong. It’s how they go about that fetish that is wrong in a lot of cases.
Running blogs where you don’t consider the boundaries of the women you reblog and use them as your personal bbw spankbank - which is the difference between HAVING a fat fetish and out right objectifying and fetishizing just any ol’ fat woman.
It takes us from being fat women you admire to tools and objects for you to get off on. We aren’t seen as full people. Especially when there is so many different views and respects on bbw and these fetishes. These are very controversial things. Where some find it empowering and others are out right offended and hurt by it.
You are stripping us of our voices. Our bodily autonomy even. Our right to preserve sexual boundaries and basic respect all for an orgasm.
The problem about men ‘embracing’ these fetishes is they’re too quick to do what I previously stated. Especially since the objectification of women’s bodies in general are almost a knee jerk reaction that a lot of men have due to conditioned and learned behaviors.
Also men who use their fetish as a selling point to get a fat woman’s attention is fetishizing in itself. If the first thing these men say to a fat woman is something about their bodies they expect us to be gratutious. After all we’r the undesirable fatties and should swoon at these men who are generous enough to give us any attention?
But then you have men who don’t use their attraction for fat as a selling point, or erase the personhood of us fat women by collecting a catalog of us, calling every fat woman they find appealing bbw’s, stripping us of our identities, and GASP…treat us like people.
So they approach us like any other person would approach a person they are interested in. Because we are people. Not a tool to feed their fetish. They approach us like human beings. They talk to us. They show interest in US. Not just as one dimensional walking fat fucktoys.
So while you asked what the difference is between a man who enjoys and likes fat women and a man with a fetish. I think it’s important to also realize that there are healthy couples to take part in fat fetishes. There are even women who consent to being fetishized.
But that is the main thing. Consent. That’s the main difference. That is the biggest blatant difference in any discussion within FA speaking on discourse in fat fetish, bbw blogs, etc. There is pretty much NO consent, and there is NO respect for us. We are being constantly stripped of being treated with any basic sense of humanity..
And that’s the difference between a respectful man that is attracted to fat women and a man that perpetuates rape culture, sexual harassment and the objectification of fat women as just fat bodies to collect.
Hope this helped.
Salome dances her dance of the seven veils,
The men all eye her like wolves on the hunt, this beautiful girl
finally undressing for them. Finally they can see her
exactly as they want to.
The first veil drops.
In 2007, Kim Kardashian’s ex-boyfriend
released their sex tape against her will.
Kim Kardashian, rather than hide in shame
Used the publicity to promote her own career.
Salome moves like a dream half-remembered.
Salome dances like a siren song. All the men ache
to see the hot sugar of her hip bones.
The second veil drops.
In 2014, Kim Kardashian walks down the aisle
As the whole world watches. If only all of us
were so successful in our revenge.
If only all of us stood in our Louboutin heels
on the backs of the men who betray us,
surveying the world we created for ourselves.
The third veil drops.
Kim Kardashian knows exactly what you think of her.
She presses the cloth tighter against her skin
Her smile is a promise she never intends to keep
We can almost see all of her.
Salome shows us her body
but never her eyes.
The fourth veil is dropping.
The four things most recently tweeted at Kim Kardashian were
@KimKardashian Suck My Dick
@Kim Kardashian Can I Meet Kanye?
@KimKardashian Please Fuck Me
@KimKardashian I Love You. I Love You.
Women are told to keep their legs shut.
Women are told to keep their mouths shut.
Some women are kept silent for so long,
They become experts in the silent theft of power.
The fifth veil has dropped.
Kim Kardashian made $12 million dollars this year
Yesterday, uncountable men in their miserable jobs,
told their miserable friends that Kim was a “dumb whore”
Kim Kardashian will never learn their names.
The sixth veil has dropped.
The seventh veil has dropped.
And Salome sat beside King Herod. And he swore unto her
“Whatsoever thou shalt ask of me, I will give to thee
unto the half of my kingdom”
And she smiled, and said
“Bring me the head of John The Baptist.
Punish the man who hurt me”
After I saw him in The Cripple of Inishmaan, I anxiously waited to meet Daniel Radcliffe at the stage door so I could get this card signed. Because I was toward the back of the crowd, I didn’t think Daniel would even notice the card, but I was very wrong. As soon as he caught sight of the card, Daniel started laughing. He then took the card and explained how he had wanted to sign one of the cards ever since he had found out about it and signed it with my Sharpie. Then he THANKED me for bringing it and took my phone and took a selfie with me. Needless to say, I was very happy.
"Welcome to another edition of CC360! I’m your host, Chris Colfer."
i went to see hurts and pet shop boys with my parents yesterday and i don’t usually drink - like ever - but we had some wine and if i’d been any more drunk by the end of the night i definitely would’ve come out to them. like we had to bike back home and i remember mumbling/whispering ‘mom, i’m a lesbian’ over and over again during that. i just wasn’t brave enough to raise my voice.
People have a knack of really over simplifying feminism like “feminism: the radical notion that women are people” or “feminism is literally just believing in equality” like… no its not its so much more complex than that ask any dingus if they think women and men should be equal they’ll probably say yeah but their actions and thoughts probably majorly contradict that so quit acting like anyones a feminist if they vaguely believe women are ok humans
Check in at TheMidwifeIsIn.tumblr.com if you have any other questions.
There is also the Abortion Pill (Mifepristone). It can be taken up to 9 weeks (but is most effective up to 7 weeks and check the laws in your state). It is comparable to a miscarriage and after getting the intial dosage from your medical service provider, you take the rest at home and go through the process at home.
This is super important, valuable information that I think many people don’t know. Also, when you go to an abortion clinic (I at least know this is true for Planned Parenthood) there’s a counseling meeting where you discuss the alternatives with a doctor and sign a consent form saying that abortion is what you really want. A lot of people who oppose abortion will want to tell you that abortion clinics and reproductive health centers will try to convince you to have the abortion, but that’s just not true. (I mean, only 3% of Planned Parenthood’s services are abortions. Family planning and community health centers like Planned Parenthood are often more concerned with prevention and awareness and other aspects of health. They’re more interested in helping you have options than they are in only giving you the one.)
Nor is it true that any medical center will throw the embryo away in a dumpster after the procedure. I’m sure none of you really thought that, but slander is a vicious thing that spreads and becomes true in the eyes of those who want to believe it because it fits into their agenda.
Additionally: know your rights. When I worked at Planned Parenthood, I learned that protesters are not allowed to be in front of the building or in the parking lot. They have to stay on the sidewalk, further away from the building. They are not supposed to try to convince you not to go into the building, nor can they physically block you from going in or follow you inside. You have to be let in by someone already in the building, which means that any appointment you have there - counseling, a check-up, a mammogram, an abortion, a testing - will be confidential and safe.